


Possibilities

by SillyBlue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Gender Dysphoria, Girl Castiel, Trans Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2014-07-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 18:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2036058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SillyBlue/pseuds/SillyBlue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel is having a bad day, a cup of tea and an open ear are the best chances Dean's got to cheer his girlfriend up again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic based on the prompt: "transgirl!Cas having a not so nice day with her body but Dean cheering her up with his love to her <3"
> 
> So this deals with Castiel experiencing some gender dysphoria, but the story is generally light-hearted. If you feel like I should have tagged for something else, please let me know.

When Cas was holed up in her study Dean knew that it was a sure sign that she was having a bad day. Bad days were not uncommon, but they had fortunately decreased in frequency over time. In the 5 years they’d been together, Dean had learned that Cas was not looking for easy solutions (and probably no longer believed in easy solutions) but what she could use was support. Dean had been awkward around her at first when he saw her crying, sitting hunched over a cup of long cold tea, almost not getting any words out when Dean asked her what was wrong.

“I am wrong.”

Seeing Castiel, strong, compassionate, amazing Castiel doubting herself, crying, wishing that she had never started transitioning because it had led her into some sort of chimera state of wrongness had been terrifying. And Dean hadn’t handled it well back then; blundering through some platitudes about insides that counted that only made her cry harder about not having the right insides being the problem.

Dean had retreated with his tail tugged between his legs, called Castiel’s sister and apologized later on for not being the kind of supportive boyfriend that Cas would have needed.

Now, five years later, he knew better. He replaced her cold cup of tea with a new one, still steaming and with more water ready in case this took its time. He had emergency teas hidden away everywhere, teas that would at least divert Castiel’s mind for a second with their novelty.

“Sammy made this one himself in a small shop Jess had dragged him to. I tried it before, so it’s safe,” Dean assured Cas. Castiel wiped her eyes and silently took a sip when encouraged. “Do you want to talk about it?” Cas didn’t speak up for a while and Dean reached out to place his hand on top of hers, relishing the feeling of the warm metal of their engagement ring under his palm.

“It’s not important,” Castiel said.

“Everything that doesn’t make you feel good is a big deal, Cas. Anything that makes you doubt yourself is something we can discuss.” Castiel looked up at Dean, her face miserable but also slightly hopeful. Then she lowered her eyes again.

“How about you get dressed first?” Castiel frowned in confusion. “I believe you’ll feel better.” Castiel looked doubtful, but left the study, throwing another almost scared look over her shoulder. “Go on, sweetheart. If you’re in there and don’t feel comfortable after all, that’ll be no problem. The tea and I will be here in any case.” Castiel slipped out of the room and Dean was left to ponder what had upset her.

He almost missed Cas coming back into the room, but Dean was used to her appearing almost out of thin air.

“How’re you feeling honey?” Castiel was wearing jeans now and a shirt that wasn’t four sizes too big on her.

“Off balance,” she confessed, “but better.” Dean didn’t say anything, but took his girlfriend’s hands in his own. Castiel gave his hands a squeeze.

“How about tea?” Castiel nodded and they were silent while she drank. “Good?” Dean asked when the cup was empty and Castiel was licking her lips.

“Yes. I’ll have to send Sam my thanks for making the mix. It was unconventional, but not bad,” she replied with a small smile and Dean grinned, leaning forwards to kiss Castiel’s cheek. Castiel lifted her arms to wrap them around Dean’s neck, kissing him on the lips. “Thank you.” Dean smiled in return, kissing her again. Castiel puller her arms away again, putting a bit of distance between them. When she wrapped her hands around the now empty mug again, Dean got up to get her some more tea.

“This morning Anna told me that she was thinking about the possibility of having a kid in a couple of years,” Castiel said when the new tea was sitting in front of her. “It’s nothing big. Of course she can consider having a kid. But it was how casual she was about it that got to me. To just be able to have that option…” she trailed off, not looking at Dean. “I wish that having a child with you was an option I could consider easily.” Dean looked at her even though she still had her eyes fixed on the contents of her cup.

“Honey… That is still an option. It might not be as easy as it is for your sister but if you want it we’ll make it work,” Dean told her gently, rubbing her arm. She looked up at him, her expression surprised. “I promise.” Castiel stared, but then she slowly started smiling. She nodded, her cheeks slightly red, and Dean adored the shy but happy expression on her face.

“I’m happy that you’re with me…,” she confessed after a while and looked back at Dean. “And that you give me possibilities where before I stumbled over so many limitations.” Now it was Dean’s turn to be slightly embarrassed by her praise.

“Don’t downplay all the things you achieved on your own,” he argued. “You don’t need me-“ Dean didn’t manage to finish, because Cas reached out to put her hand over his mouth, making him shut up. She frowned at him and took away her hand again. “Sorry,” he said. “I know that you’re awesome and I’m awesome. And we’re probably the most awesome couple.”

“We’d have an awesome kid too,” Castiel added and Dean looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Not yet though. In five years and then however long it takes?” Dean had to grin when he saw her hopeful expression and he nodded. Castiel’s grateful, relieved smile made him need to kiss her, so he did. “Thank you.”

“Still off balance?” Dean asked and Castiel gave a tiny shrug.

“A bit,” she said and Dean nodded. It would probably take a while longer for her to feel completely at ease again, but knowing Castiel she would get there. “Do you want to go for a run?” Dean blinked at her in surprise at the sudden change of topic. Then he groaned dramatically.

“Ugh, Cas!”

“You said you felt uncomfortable about how exhausted you were the last time you had to run up the stairs in your faculty building,” she told him patiently.

“Everybody feels like fainting if they have to run up to the seventh floor!” Dean protested, then he grumbled when Castiel gently patted his stomach before getting up. She teasingly lifted her shirt, showing off her perfectly flat stomach and the bottom of her bra.

“We can shower together after running,” she offered, knowing well that her boyfriend would never be able to resist. Dean grumbled some more, but got up with a loud sigh.

“Fine!” he agreed but Cas knew that he was not as unwilling to go running with her as he pretended to be. “Whatever makes you feel good, baby.” He whispered in her ear as he passed her and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you,” Castiel replied with a smile and Dean winked at her. “You could say it back, assbutt.”

“When we’re showering. I need something to look forwards to while going through this torture,” he told her. Castiel rolled her eyes, but Dean did say it back later once he could breathe properly again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! ♥


End file.
